It's your big day. You're getting married. Time to plan big. Time to plan lavishly. Time to start your wonderful life together in debt.

Let's face it, the bride's family is not always willing (or able) to foot the bill for a big wedding. More and more the bride and groom are paying for their own weddings, and want to do it responsibly. The good news is inexpensive weddings don't mean you have to give up on style or sentimentality. It means using your imagination. For example, I knew one couple who rented an inexpensive roller rink for the night and got married on skates to a cheesy organ playing "Here Comes the Bride." After the vows they and their guests had a great time skating around the rink.

Too expensive for you? Perhaps you could hold your wedding outdoors at a friend's or family member's backyard. If there is a pool available, you could turn it into a fun wedding pool party.

Wedding theme parties can also be a creative, fun and inexpensive (we don't use the word "cheap") way to get married. You could go to an inexpensive craft stores to create any kind of theme wedding you want: Western, Hawaiian, Cosmopolitan, Elvis, Star Trek, "Survivor" (yes, that's right, a "Survivor" theme wedding.)

What other ways can you save money on your wedding?

- Buy your dress secondhand.

- Ask your friends and family to make your food and cake for you in lieu of a wedding gift.

- Why use a DJ when you have an iPod or MP3 player?

- Stay away from "expensive foods" like shrimp, salmon, lobster and beef tenderloin.

- Hold the wedding and reception at lunch time and serve lunch instead of dinner.

- Buy flowers from a local wholesale flower mart or nursery.

- Have a barbecue.

- Have a buffet-style meal instead of a more formal dinner.

- Skip the alcohol. Okay, just kidding (unless, of course you don't drink). But, if having some wine or champagne available to your guests is important, there are still some pretty good bottles available that won't break the bank. If you live in California, inexpensive wines are easy to find. But, if you live elsewhere, there are always labels like Columbia Crest, BV Coastal and Mirassou that are great tasting and inexpensive. Chandon, a label from California, has good, inexpensive sparkling wine for around $13.99 (from dealtime.com). You can always have a more expensive bottle of champagne reserved for the bride and groom.

It's all about priorities. Decide which elements of your wedding are most important to you and which you want to reserve for a major part of your budget and which elements aren't all that important to you. Perhaps saving money for a house is your priority and a wedding just isn't all that important. In that case, elope and have a modest party later. You two are creating the lives you want. Do what makes you happiest.

Shari Hearn is a writer and creator of http://www.locationweddings.net and California Weddings blog.