Weddings are the first chance for a couple to exemplify what their lives together will be like. It can be stressful, exciting and typically brings out the best and worst in the people involved. Parents may want to be too involved or the groom (or bride) may not want to be involved at all. Problems can arise over the smallest details to the traditions - what color should invitations be and who should pay?

Take a deep breath. Relax. Then take a step back and consider the situation.

It may very well be time to call in a professional. Wedding consultants can take over the process and put the entire event together. Those involved need only make a few decisions, give a few instructions, and show up for rehearsal. But for many people, this isn't an option.

If you want to get your wedding plans under control, the first thing you have to do is to take control. If you have domineering parents, aunts or sisters who want everything done their way, call a meeting. Explain clearly that the bride and groom should have the right to shine on this particular day. Most will understand and the rest will likely get over it.

The next step in taking control is to get a grip on what's important. If tradition is the most important aspect of your wedding, get on with the traditional wedding. But if the only tradition you want is "Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue," that's okay too. With the number of people today who are marrying after divorce, marrying later in life, and facing other circumstances, public opinion toward less traditional weddings has softened.

Remember that this is your chance to have the wedding of your dreams. Your budget should be your only limit and you can even work around that with a little ingenuity. Design your own invitations. You can print them on your home computer or have copies made at a professional print shop. Rent flowers and decorations. Look to those in the family with special talents for decorations, possibly even down to the cake.

Remember that the bride and groom are going to be the guests of honor at this party. Weddings should be their opportunity to take their first steps toward their lives together.

Jeff Lakie is the founder of Wedding Resources a website providing information on Weddings